Robert is a freelance marketing consultant who has worked for organisations such as Manchester International Festival, The Lowry, Cornerhouse, Creative Tourist and many more.
Find him on Facebook here.
He met his partner in Cornerhouse 23 years ago and they've been together in Manchester ever since. In that time they have seen many changes in the 'gay village' and in the status of LGBT communities.
Marriage equality in England and Wales will be followed by the same in Scotland later in the year. Northern Ireland has no plans to introduce it, but does allow Civil Partnerships, which were made legal in the UK in December 2005.
That December, I was in a car traveling to see a friend for her birthday, and my partner was driving. On the radio, the news said that Civil Partnerships would, from early 2006, allow gay couples the same legal rights as everyone else who was in a marriage. The only difference would be the name and the fact that there’d be no place for religion in the proceedings.
By that time, my partner and I had already been together for 16 years. We had a house, families who loved us, jobs we were ourselves in… in other words, we had a very normal life. I turned to my partner and uttered the romantic words, ‘Shall we then?’ ‘Yes OK, why not?’ came the reply, and we drove on. Later, we asked each other properly as the gravity of the situation became a reality.
The following April, 140 friends and family joined us in what was, for most people, their first Civil Partnership. That day felt like it was about so much more than just me and my partner. It genuinely felt like we were all taking part in and celebrating a piece of history. For anyone who had grown up in the shadow of ‘the gay plague’, who had marched against Thatcher’s infamous Clause 28, outlawing the ‘promotion’ of homosexuality in the classroom as a valid way of living, who had come out in a world where there were NO gay characters in TV soaps and the gay scene still consisted of shadowy doorways, dingy bars and the distinct possibility of getting beaten up on the way out, Civil Partnerships felt like validation, like the rights and acknowledgement which LGBT communities had been fighting for for so long were finally coming.
So now, years later, loads of us have done it! Society hasn't fallen apart and the traditional family continues to thrive, despite what some of the more concerned members of the population thought... The thing is though, it’s such a mouthful. I mean, what am I supposed to say? What’s my status? I am Civil Partnered? That’s not quite English, I think… We are in a Civil Partnership? Clumsy. Can I call him my husband if we’re not married?
In reality, most gay couples who have had a Civil Partnership describe themselves as 'married' and, later in the year, once the government figure out how to make it work, we’ll be able to transfer officially to being married without having to have another ceremony or having to buy a new hat.
For some gay couples, the appeal of Civil Partnerships is in the fact that it IS different from marriage, from what straight people do, and once marriage equality becomes the norm, that choice will remain as Civil Partnerships won’t disappear. And there’s the point. Choice.
It matters so much. I’m lucky. I’ve lived in Manchester since I came here to University in 1985. It has always been a city which has stood up for, promoted and encouraged an open and inclusive attitude towards its LGBT inhabitants and visitors. Manchester’s Canal Street and the world famous Gay Village have been a beacon of gay equality for as long as I can remember, and the city, with events such as Pride, Sparkle, the Great British Bear Bash and so many more, continues to show its commitment to supporting equality.
But liberty is a fragile thing. There are places, some not too far from home, where such liberties have never existed or are taking backward steps. Indeed, there are 83 countries at the moment where homosexuality is still illegal, and 5 which will put us to death for being gay.
So the choices we now have can’t be taken for granted and must be seen within the context of the bigger picture. The fight for true equality continues but, for now, we can celebrate the fact that the children who will be our next generation of gay men and women will see their right to marriage as the norm, here in Manchester and most of the UK.
And that’s worth shouting about.
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